OCTOBER: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH

Portrait with handwritten reflections about becoming

Awareness. Survival.
Making accountability more than a word.

For years, I could see the injuries without fully understanding the abuse. I blamed myself for what happened to me—and later, for what happened to others after me, because of what I hadn’t reported.

Healing has meant learning where that responsibility actually belongs. This October, I’m putting words to experiences I once struggled to name: consent that was no longer consent, harm that escalated, and patterns that continued. My story begins here in pieces, with more behind each one.

01 / THIS MONTH

When yes becomes stop.

When I begged him to stop, I blamed myself for the consequences that followed—as if telling him to stop made his reaction my fault. It took years to understand that I had every right to withdraw consent, and that his actions were his responsibility.

The aftermath · Graphic photos ↗

02 / THIS MONTH

When the harm keeps growing.

My experience wasn’t the end of his behavior. I carried guilt about people who were hurt after me, questioning what I hadn’t reported. Learning where responsibility belonged changed how I understood the harm that continued.

Escalation ↗

03 / THIS MONTH

Who are we asking to answer?

Why didn’t you leave? Why didn’t you report it? Why didn’t you speak sooner?

We put the survivor’s decisions under a microscope, then suddenly lose focus when the abuser comes into view.

I carried that blame, too—even for what happened to people after me. It took years to understand that what I hadn’t reported did not make his choices my responsibility.

Explore accountability ↗

04 / THIS MONTH

Patterns that were easy to fall into.

The harm didn’t end with my part of the story. I carried guilt about what came after, while also learning to recognize what I needed to heal within myself. Taking time to understand those patterns has helped me stop confusing someone else’s choices with my responsibility.

Explore patterns ↗

The stories will come in pieces.

Years of different types of therapy and self-education shaped what I understand now. The last two and a half years of healing and moving through grief have opened me to what I can offer others from my experiences. I’ll share more of that through the Chronicles—at my own pace, in my own words.